


Spontaneous Combustion

by Julesmonster



Category: Glee
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-19
Updated: 2012-09-19
Packaged: 2017-11-14 14:45:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,450
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/516326
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Julesmonster/pseuds/Julesmonster
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Blaine asks Puck to kiss Kurt but none of them are prepared for the consequences.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Spontaneous Combustion

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
> 
> A/N: This short one-shot was written in response to those of you who were disappointed in my Klaine ending in The Subjective Observer. Hope you enjoy! Jules

"I want you to kiss Kurt."

Puck, who had been waiting for Finn to get back from the store so they could play X-Box, sat up from the slouch he had been in since entering the Hudson-Hummel house and stared blankly at the hobbit in front of him. "You want me to kiss Kurt? Your boyfriend?"

"Yes," Blaine said with a firm nod of his head.

"Um… why?" Puck asked, totally bewildered by the request. "This isn't some prelude to asking me to be a part of some gay threesome, is it? Because I'll only do that with two chicks."

Blaine rolled his eyes. "No. Kurt has only ever kissed me. At least… well, that doesn't matter. The point is he's lacking in diversity when it comes to kissing men."

"And that's a bad thing," Puck said gravely, but he didn't really see why Blaine would think so. Sure, Puck thought the more experienced your partner was the better, but the dapper Mr. Warbler didn't seem like the type to hold with such ideas.

"Blaine!" Kurt came storming down the steps from his bedroom and thundered into the living room. "Did you… Oh my Gaga! You asked him didn't you! Cheesus! You can't go around asking my friends to kiss me just because you've got some crazy idea in your head!"

"Fine don't kiss him," Blaine shrugged. "But I can't see how you can make a truly informed decision like the one you are trying to convince me you have made without further evidence!"

"Are you saying you won't… unless I prove to you that it's you I want by kissing another man?" Kurt demanded.

Blaine blinked at Kurt as if surprised that he had done such a thing but he didn't back down. Instead, he nodded. "I guess I am."

Puck looked back and forth between the two boys who were looming over him where he still sat on the sofa. He wasn't sure what was going o, but he was starting to get an idea. "Wait. Kurt wants to have sex, but you won't because he's never kissed anyone but you?"

"And Brittany," Kurt reminded Puck, though he never turned away from glaring at his boyfriend.

"And Brittany," Puck conceded. He continued to watch the two glaring at each other and began to feel a little bit weird about the whole thing. He wasn't one to buy into all the romantic nonsense that Kurt and Blaine usually spouted, but then again, he really thought that the two of them were kinda good together and probably shouldn't fight. He was willing to make sacrifices in order to ensure that the perfect (gay) couple stayed that way. "Yeah, okay. I'll do it."

"What?"

This response came from both of the boys standing above him and Puck suddenly got the idea that he was missing something very important. Didn't Blaine want him to kiss Kurt?

The silent war continued between Kurt and Blaine for a moment longer before Kurt huffed and said, "Fine." He was straddling Puck's lap and attacking his mouth before anyone else in the room could protest.

At first Puck was in total shock. Was he really kissing a dude? But then the feel of a warm body on his own and fingers running through his stripe of hair—not to mention the feel of a hot and talented tongue tangling with his—drove whatever panic had started to form right out of his head. All Puck could really think about was the kiss. It was amazing the way Kurt just sort of fit right in his arms and without any thought at all. He wrapped his arms around Kurt and pulled him tighter to his chest. They were on fire with need for more of each other. Their groins connected and they let out a collective groan that was obviously too much for the hobbit to take.

"I think that's more than enough," Blaine said as he attempted to pull the other two boys apart. It wasn't working, though. Puck just tightened his hold on the smaller boy and Kurt seemed to cling even harder. "Hey!"

Blaine pulled on Kurt a lot harder and the two boys on the couch finally parted.

Even though they were no longer kissing, they eyes had locked and their breathing was heavy with arousal. Puck could see the way Kurt's expressive eyes were dilated and he wondered idly if his were the same.

"Kurt?" Blaine said. There was a host of emotions in that single word and both Puck and Kurt realized just what they had done at last.

Kurt's eyes widened in horror and he covered his mouth with one trembling hand even as he stumbled to hastily climb from Puck's lap. His chant of "Oh my god, oh my God," was muffled but clearly discernable.

Kurt shot at look at Blaine and then at Puck and then he ran from the room. Puck listened to the sound of Kurt running up the stairs and then the bedroom door slamming. Blaine glared at Puck and then followed behind Kurt. Puck listened to Blaine knock on the door and the muffled pleadings for Kurt to let him in.

Puck just sat there for the longest time. First, he was trying to will down his unbidden erection. Second, he was trying to understand just why he had an erection. He couldn't have liked kissing Kurt, could he? What the fuck did that say about him? Did that make him gay? Did that mean he was going to quit football and join the knitting club? What exactly did all this mean?

"What the fuck did you think you were doing?" the hobbit demanded.

Puck hadn't heard Blaine return, but now he was standing right in front of him and shooting daggers at him through angry eyes. With bushy triangle eyebrows. How did Kurt resist the urge to trim those things? Puck shook that thought out of his head. That was just _**way**_ too gay. Gayer than kissing Kurt had been.

"I was doing what you asked," Puck said with feigned negligence as he stood up. He grabbed his jacket and pulled it on. "You wanted me to kiss him so I did. Not my fault that the Puckasaurus is irresistible. If you wanted someone safe, you should have asked Sam. Then again, Kurt did have a bit of a crush on him when he first came to school, so maybe not."

"That's not…!"

Puck smirked at him. "Listen I've got to go. Tell Finn that we'll play video games another time."

Puck didn't wait for the other boy to regain his composure. Sure he could take the hobbit, but he didn't really want to beat the kid up. It would be like rubbing salt on an open wound, and Puck wasn't cruel by nature.

Besides, Puck needed time to consider everything that had happened. What exactly _had_ happened?

**PKPKPKPKPK**

Kurt leaned his back against his bedroom door and listened to Blaine's angry voice as he shouted at Puck downstairs. And then the front door opened and closed and he heard Blaine on the stairs. Kurt wasn't ready to face Blaine. He just wasn't. How could he explain to the boy he loved that one kiss with Noah Puckerman had turned him on more than months of making out with Blaine ever had? Even now, after everything, Kurt was harder than he could ever remember being with Blaine. Shit. This really was bad.

"Kurt, sweetie?" Blaine called through the door. "Please, can I come in so we can talk about this?"

Blaine wanted to talk. _Imagine that_ , Kurt thought sarcastically. "I'm not ready to talk."

"Please, Kurt," Blaine said. "The kiss doesn't matter. I forgive you. You were right. I was being stupid. If you still want to… well, I'd like to."

Suddenly Kurt's confusion and insecurity was replaced by anger. He hastily stood up and threw the door open. "You _forgive_ me? You practically forced me to kiss Noah and now you act like I did something to hurt you? Well fuck you!"

Kurt didn't wait to hear Blaine's response. He slammed the door in Blaine's face and slid back to the floor. A few moments later he heard the front door open and close again. This time it was slammed.

**PKPKPKPKPK**

It was a very tense and angst filled week for all three boys. Now that Blaine was attending McKinley, there was no escape for any of them. The subject of the kiss hung in the air between them and so they all avoided the others as much as humanly possible. It was pretty obvious when Kurt and Blaine started to avoid each other since they had been inseparable since Blaine's transfer, but it didn't' take long to become obvious that Puck was avoiding the other two as well. It got so bad that even Finn noticed that something was wrong.

In fact, the entire club knew that there was a problem before Tuesday's final bell. By the time Friday's rehearsal rolled around they had collectively decided that they needed to do something. Despite his newness to the club, they all felt like Blaine could really be a huge factor in getting them to Nationals, and they had already lost Kurt once. And despite his rough exterior, they had missed Puck when he'd been in juvie. They didn't want to lose any of the three boys.

Consensus held that Puck was probably at the bottom of the issue, though no one was willing to directly confront him. He was nicer these days, but he was still a badass. And not one of them could imagine what Puck might have done to drive a wedge between the two boys who had seemed so in love only the week before.

"Puck, Kurt and Blaine."

The three boys all looked up at the sound of their names being called. Rachel was standing at the front of the room, having commandeered the reins of the rehearsal from Will Schuster's unresisting grasp.

"What?" Kurt asked from his spot on the far right of the front row.

"I said, you three have been assigned to prepare a trio for next week," Rachel said. "That's the assignment this week."

"Um, I think maybe we should have different groupings," Blaine said politely from his seat on the far left of the front row.

"I'm with the hobbit," Puck said. Naturally he was in the back row, in the very center, as far away from the other two as possible.

 

"The groups have all been assigned," Mr. Schue said, finally trying to be authoritarian. "Work it out."

The rehearsal ended soon after that and the three boys dispersed as quickly as possible. The rest of the club just sat there hoping that their plan to force them together wouldn't blow up in their faces.

**PKPKPKPKPK**

Blaine stood outside the Hummel-Hudson house and sighed. They were all supposed to meet there to choose a song for their assignment, but he had decided to come a little early to try and work things out with Kurt. But now that he was there, Blaine just couldn't find the courage to face Kurt. He knew he had made a mistake insisting that Kurt kiss Puck but he hadn't realized how big of a mistake it was until he saw them together. And sure, he had said some stupid things afterward, but that was only his insecurity talking. He knew he had to find a way to make it up to Kurt, but he just didn't know how.

"Are you just going to stand out here all day?" Kurt asked from the now open doorway.

Blaine startled and gave Kurt a sheepish smile. "Sorry. I was just… thinking."

Kurt snorted disdainfully, but the anger that had been burning him up for the past week had faded somewhat. He stepped to the side and gestured for Blaine to come in.

"I wanted to apologize," Blaine said. "I was a complete ass."

"Yes you were," Kurt agreed but his eyes softened and he sighed. "I forgive you."

Blaine pulled Kurt into a hug and they both hung on to the other tightly for a while. And then they loosened their grip just enough to let their lips meet in a kiss. It was nice and familiar but it became obvious very quickly that there was something missing.

Blaine pulled away and looked up at Kurt. "This isn't working is it?"

Before Kurt could answer, they heard a car door slam and then Puck was standing there in the open doorway. "S'up?"

"We should head to my room so we can discuss ideas," Kurt said.

They were all silent as they made their way up the stairs and into Kurt's room. One there, Kurt began nervously fiddling with his ipod, looking for possible songs for the three of them to sing while Blaine stared out the window with a frown on his face. Puck just sat and stared, his eyes going from Blaine to Kurt and back again.

"Dude, I never should have agreed to kiss you," Puck finally blurted out.

The other two boys looked at him as if he had grown another head for bringing up the subject none of them really wanted to even think about.

"What?" Puck asked them. "Listen, the tension in this room is crazy thick. I think we probably need to do something about that before we can even think about singing some lame ass song."

"What do you suggest?" Kurt asked.

"Well, I've been thinking," Puck said.

"A dangerous pastime," Kurt muttered.

"I know," Blaine said. The two then looked at each other and laughed, some of the tension easing away.

Puck glared at them. "Whatever. That kiss fucked everything up. I mean, you guys were the poster couple for gay boys everywhere and I was… well, badass. Now everything is fucked. So we need to balance things out again."

"How do you suggest we do that?" Blaine asked.

"I'm gonna kiss you," Puck said. "Then you and Kurt are even and shit and I can prove that it was just some weird fluke."

"Kissing me won't prove you aren't attracted to men," Blaine pointed out. "It would just prove you aren't attracted to me."

"I think you should do it," Kurt said, surprising both of the other boys. "I need to know if whatever happened was just because Puck is that skilled or if it was… something else."

"Fine," But then you have to kiss me again," Puck said. "And then you and Blaine kiss. We can compare notes after and maybe figure this shit out." Kurt and Blaine shared a look and then they both nodded warily. "Good."

Puck walked over to Blaine and pulled the shorter boy into his arms before bringing there mouths together. From his place on his bed, Kurt looked on in fascination. It was weird. He felt jealousy, but not the type of jealousy he should be feeling. He wasn't concerned with Blaine kissing another boy; instead he was thinking of ripping Blaine out of Puck's arms so that he could take his place. It was a startling moment of self-discovery.

Blaine pulled away from the kiss and blinked at Puck. Puck was staring at him with something in his eyes that he couldn't quite place.

"Compare notes after we all kiss," Puck finally said.

It was Kurt's turn to kiss Puck and he stood up to take his place in Puck's arms. They fit well together. Kurt was only about an inch shorter than the jock and their bodies aligned perfectly. Again, when their lips met, there was instant heat that quickly burst into flames that threatened to consume them both. Their kiss wasn't limited to their lips; it was a full-body activity. Their hips pressed together and their hands roamed freely. It was only when Blaine shouted their names that reality set in and they were able to pull apart.

"I think I need a minute," Kurt said as he practically fell onto his bed. His skinny jeans did little to hide the erection he was now sporting.

"Right," Puck said as he sat in the desk chair. He was visibly aroused as well.

"This is ridiculous," Blaine muttered as he sat on the bed beside Kurt.

"We still have to have our kiss," Kurt reminded him.

"We both know how it's going to go," Blaine said dejectedly.

Kurt knew, but he hated upsetting Blaine. "Maybe that was just a fluke. We should be sure."

He sat up and pulled Blaine into a kiss. Both boys put everything they had into that single kiss. The truth was that they wanted this to work between them. They were, as Puck had said, the poster couple for gay boys everywhere. The problem with perfection, however, is that it is boring… just like their kisses.

"It's not working," Blaine said as he pulled away.

"No it's not," Kurt conceded.

"You and Puck spontaneously combust every time you kiss," Blaine went on. "You and I have to huddle over a flint to get a spark going."

"So what do we do?" Kurt asked.

Blaine looked infinitely saddened by the thought, but he voiced it anyway. "We go back to being friends."

There were a few tears as the boys hugged each other tightly. Puck, who had been completely forgotten momentarily, cleared his throat. "Yeah, well, what about me?"

Kurt and Blaine both turned to face him but it was Kurt who asked, "Well, what did you figure out from the kisses?"

Puck looked a little sorry that he had asked now. "Well, um, kissing Blaine wasn't bad. I mean, he's pretty skilled. And I guess I wouldn't have a problem doing him if it came down to it. But it wasn't…"

"It wasn't like kissing Kurt," Blaine said.

"Right," Puck said. "So does that mean that I'm bi or something?"

"Probably," Kurt agreed. "You can be bi and still be a badass, you know."

"So now what?" Puck asked.

"Well, that's up to you," Kurt said. "Obviously we've got some major chemistry going on, but that doesn't meant we have to act on it. If you aren't willing or ready to deal with your sexuality, we can just forget this ever happened."

Puck considered that for a minute but eventually said, "Fuck that. I'm not passing up on anything as hot as that just because you're a dude. Seriously, Hummel, kissing you is like way better than full on sex with Santana. I'm not passing up a chance for more."

Kurt grinned at him. "Okay, then the next step would be for you to ask me out on a date."

"A date?" Puck asked with a perplexed frown.

"I am not one of your cheap bimbos, Noah Puckerman," Kurt huffed. "I expect to be wooed."

"He can be very demanding," Blaine agreed with a smirk directed at the flustered jock. "Don't worry; I'll talk you through it."

Kurt shared another look with Blaine, and this time they both seemed to realize that everything was going to work out fine.

**PKPKPKPKPK**

The entire school was in a state of shock on Monday morning when Puck, Kurt and Blaine walked through the front doors together. They were used to seeing the two gay kids together, and even having Puck with them wasn't unheard of. It was the fact that Puck and Kurt were holding hands while Blaine and Kurt laughed at some joke Puck had told that had everyone buzzing. And when Puck left the other two boys, he gave Kurt a kiss that probably left scorch marks on the lockers against which he had the smaller boy pressed. And when Puck walked away, Blaine whispered something to Kurt that had the other boy laughing and blushing at the same time.

By the time glee club rehearsal came around, everyone knew of the change in pairing and while most were shocked by the turn in events, they mostly accepted it. The fact that Blaine appeared to be in full support of the new couple went a long way in ensuring that the other members of New Directions accepted them as well. And so when practice was over and everyone was making their way out to the parking lot, it wasn't a complete shock to find Puck and Kurt making out against the side of Kurt's SUV.

"My god, those two are hot together," Mercedes muttered.

"Tell me about it," Tina agreed.

Neither of them had heard Blaine come up beside them but they heard him ruefully say, "Spontaneous combustion. There's no way to fight the phenomenon."

**The End**

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: So, did anyone catch the Disney song reference? Cookies if you spot it!


End file.
